I have an awful lot on my plate at the moment, so it is only natural that right now seems like an extremely good time to start reviewing the E-liquids I have been vaping.

After years of smoking heavily and, at the age of 42, already having suffered various health problems as a result, I recently purchased an eRoll on the recommendation of a friend. I bought it from thesmoking.co.uk [NB - link long defunct], along with - as instructed by my friend - an extra pack of cartridges and an extra pack of atomiser heads. As my friend told me, it’s not about giving up smoking as such - I haven’t - but I have certainly cut down from around twenty a day to somewhere between 0 and 5. That happened immediately and without particularly trying. When I have decent juice on the go, I just don’t want to smoke. When I don’t, on the other hand, I do.

While I’m writing, here’s a short review of thesmoking.co.uk: A+ will be buying from again, probably later this evening, as I am running out of atomiser heads. Good price, swift despatch, everything as it should be.

Now the juices.

I haven’t tried many (it’s only been about a month), but I have already sampled enough to know that there is as much variety among E-liquids as there is among whiskies or beers, both in terms of taste and in terms of quality. Since they all seem to be much of a muchness on price (around five quid for 10ml), however, it’s useful to have a vague idea what they are actually like.

First up, the juices from AceVapers [ NB - link also long defunct. Man I miss AceVapers. They were ace. ]. These were recommended to me by the same friend that recommended the eRoll, and I must agree with her - they do seem to be the best I’ve found so far.

Ace Vapers AV Tobacco Medium (12mg nicotine)

My friend warned me that tobacco flavours were usually vile, and not to bother. Being a difficult bugger, I naturally decided to completely ignore her and have a go on one. Actually, I really liked this.

Like all the Ace Vapers juices it claims to be ‘organic’, whatever that means, but the flavour on this one was indeed vaguely tobacco-like but with a mild yet noticeable vanilla edge. Not too harsh, not too sweet. Just right. It reminded me of that vanilla flavour pipe tobacco I bought once by mistake and still keep in the back of the drawer for tobacco emergencies, only without the massive head-rush.

The only thing I didn’t like about this was that there wasn’t enough nicotine in it for me. As a heavy smoker, I’ve found that unless there’s 18mg nicotine in the juice, I’m still craving real ones. I’m definitely getting some more of this in the 18mg nicotine variety and will review that one if I ever do this again.

Ace Vapers Coffee High (18mg nicotine)

This one arrived today. Perfectly pleasant, but nothing special. A full-bodied vape, lots of vapour (all the Ace Vapers juices seem to be like this), tastes like the kind of coffee you don’t regret exactly, but don’t particularly remember either. Good for vaping in between flavours that are so nice you don’t want to do them all the time lest the pleasure of them wear off. A solid, everyday vape. Very nice after a meal. Or first thing in the morning when it’s just been posted through the door. Or at any other time.

Ace Vapers Pecan Praline Medium (12mg nicotine)

My friend recommended this one to me as basically the best thing ever. She may be right. It’s like vaping cake. Not grotty cake either. Really nice cake. Not too sweet, but quite sweet; not too nutty but quite nutty. Ridiculously moreish. The only problem for me was the low nicotine content (YMMV there, obviously), but meanwhile I mysteriously ran out of this in about a week, hence my purchase of…

Ace Vapers Pecan Praline High (18mg nicotine)

This also arrived today. It is indeed basically the best thing ever. Same taste as above only without the cigarette cravings. I find it necessary to alternate this one with other flavours or the pleasure diminishes, but I can live with that. I’ll be buying more of this one. You should try it. Unless you don’t like cake. What is wrong with you? This is nice cake. Look, I don’t actually like cake as such either. But this is really nice cake. Oh never mind.

Foggy Dew Irish Coffee High (18mg nicotine)

Extremely pleasant. Not too much coffee, not too much whisky - is there perhaps a hint of Bailey’s going on in there? I think there is. To be honest, I prefer this to the Ace Vapers Coffee, but then I’d also prefer an Irish Coffee to a normal one too. Not organic, but hey ho. Will be buying this again also.

Foggy Dew Mocca High (18mg nicotine)

This was the juice that came free with my initial order from thesmoking.co.uk, so it is possible that I am unable to review it objectively. Of course, that’s a silly bollocks thing to say, because I am unable to review anything objectively - all reviews are by nature subjective. And my entirely subjective review of this is that it is lovely. A perfect blend of chocolate and coffee flavour, plenty of body to it, not too sweet, and I don’t know why I haven’t got any more of this on order because I have already gone through 20ml of the stuff and I’ve only been vaping a month. I’ll fix that as soon as I post this.

Vivid Cappucino Cream High (18mg nicotine)

Imagine my delight when, as a novice vaper, I discovered that one of my local convenience stores stocks a range of E-liquids. No more having to buy online! No more worrying about what happens if I run out! How wonderful!

No.

This is the second worst taste I have ever experienced in my life. You know the flavour of really cheap box chocolates? You know when you make matters worse by accidentally picking the ‘coffee’ flavour one, and whatever chemical it is they’re using that tricks your brain into thinking your tongue is tasting something vaguely similar to coffee with cream then ends up hanging around in your mouth for the next ten hours no matter how much Marmite you eat straight from the jar or raw garlic cloves you chomp on in an attempt to drown it out?

This is like that. Only worse. It starts ok enough - ah, yes, sort of coffee, ah yes, sort of cream, but then the aftertaste begins. AND DOES NOT GO AWAY. AND GETS WORSE.

Not only that but the flavour of this vile substance seems to hang around in the atomiser, so even if you change cartridge for another flavour YOU CAN STILL TASTE THE BLOODY STUFF FOR AGES. Argh. Burn it. Burn it with fire. By which I mean my mouth. Ugh. No. There’s only one thing worse than this, in my experience so far, which is…

Vivid Red Wings High (18mg nicotine)

I stood there in the shop for quite a while wondering what the hell ‘Red Wings’ flavour might be. Being an idiot, I didn’t whip my phone out to look it up, I just bought 10ml on spec.

This was a grave error of judgement on my part.

“At least it can’t be worse than the Cappucino Cream flavour,” I remember thinking to myself.

This too was a grave error of judgement.

There are people out there who actually like the taste of Red Bull. I am not one of them, but I know they exist. However, even if you do like the taste of Red Bull, I am not sure if you will also like the taste of fake Red Bull. It’s a blend of laboratory designed fake strawberry with human bile. Fortunately, I do not vomit easily, or this juice would have actually made me throw up. But for the first time, I have abandoned a cartridge full of the shit because I just couldn’t take it any more. I don’t know what to do with the cartridge other than to take it into the garden and give it a decent burial. And like the other Vivid flavour, this one seems to infect the whole bloody device and make the next flavour you put in there taste of the same thing for a while until it eventually goes away.

DO NOT BUY THIS UNLESS YOU ARE INTO PAIN AND VOMIT AND THE TASTE OF REGRET.

That’s it. Those are all the flavours I have tried.

Executive Summary: Ace Vapers - very good; Foggy Dew - very good; Vivid - shite.