So, I’m in an all-banjo band called Banjöverkill at the moment, and we recently discovered the existence of the Banjo Fish, aka banjos banjos. It has become extremely necessary to write a song about it.

This is my attempt at a first draft of the lyrics of that song. With footnotes. Because obviously.

Lyrics:

I

The banjo fish is a perciform fish (1), which means it’s like a perch (2)
It lives in the Western Pacific Ocean according to my research (3)
But one key fact eludes me still, one thing that I have to know
Would a banjo fish have the slightest wish to learn to play banjo?

Chorus

Banjos banjos, they’re about eight inches long
Banjos banjos, the subject of this song
You find them in Australia, you find them in Japan
They look so wise with their great big eyes but do they play the ban-jo?

II

In eighteen hundred and forty-six John Richardson decreed (1,4)
That the ray-finned dish called the ‘banjo fish’ was a very fine fish indeed (5)
And for such a fish one could only wish an appropriate binomial name (6)
Ichthyology made it clear the genus and species should be the same

Chorus

III

There’s a fish called the freshwater drum fish (7), but it doesn’t play the drums
And the ovoviviparous guitarfish (8) can’t play guitar ‘cause it doesn’t have thumbs
The bass fish is also perciform (9) but it doesn’t make sounds that are low
But the banjo fish - that’s our favourite fish - should surely play banjo

Chorus repeat to fade

References:

  1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banjos_banjos
  2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perciformes
  3. https://www.fishbase.se/summary/Banjos-banjos.html
  4. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Richardson_(naturalist)
  5. I made this bit up. I have no evidence that John Richardson had any particular view on the merits of the banjo fish.
  6. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Binomial_nomenclature
  7. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freshwater_drum
  8. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guitarfish
  9. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bass_(fish)